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by Kolby Solinsky

Editor, White Cover Magazine

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Funny thing happened last night.

On the west coast, long after toddlers were tucked in in the land of the Fleur de Lis, Patrick Marleau scored the winner for San Jose, pushing the Los Angeles Kings to the brink, leaving the Sharks a whisker away from a sweep.

After the goal, San Jose’s Joe Pavelski spun around with a big smile on his face, not looking but lunging to hug Marleau. He didn’t see Mike Richards standing right behind him, and Pavelski rammed his face into Richards’ chest. Pavelski fell over, comically, and raised his arms for a half-second, as if to say, “Hey, where’s the call, ref?”

But then he remembered… San Jose had won the game. It didn’t matter. Get over it, Little Joe. Get over it.

And yet, on the other end of the continent, Habs fans were pummelling Ron MacLean on Twitter, going to bed angry because they always go to bed angry whenever there’s a hockey game on, win or lose.

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by Kolby Solinsky

Editor, White Cover Magazine

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Full disclosure, right up front: my preseason Stanley Cup picks were the San Jose Sharks and the Detroit Red Wings.

Why did I pick them?

Because picking the defending Stanley Cup champions – the Chicago Blackhawks – is boring, and I really didn’t want to pick the Boston Bruins, either. Plus, you’d be wise to avoid favourites in an 82-game + Playoff season, especially when it’s one of the world’s most physically demanding sports. Only that weird wrestling San Francisco’s sea lions do demands more out of you every day for a calendar year than NHL hockey.

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by Kolby Solinsky

Editor, White Cover Magazine

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I have feared (as a fan, not as a citizen of the earth) nights like last night since a very specific date: May 18, 2011.

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No points in his first five, and only three through his opening nine. After 15 games, his goal count stood at a resounding ZIP. And his Flyers were just awful, an embarrassment to the Pennsylvania most of us foolishly thought was defined by those playful Penguins.

But Claude Giroux is a star, and we probably forgot this. We even considered Martin St. Louis to be the most talented snub from Team Canada, and we treated the former Lightning legend’s eventual selection to Yzerman’s squad like it was some kind of destiny saluted, some sort of earned cleansing… like, yes, the little guy got his due, and he’s the one who deserved it. He’s the ONE who deserved it. And St. Louis treated it the same way.

But Claude Giroux sat by, piling on points while Philly climbed the Eastern ladder, taking out his anger on every goalie from Hawaii to England.

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The Vancouver Canucks and George RR Martin.

I don’t really watch Game of Thrones. I’ve seen it and I know what it’s about and I get the appeal and I know why it makes you come back and back and back, because it just tortures you with such pleasure, like bondage… it kills off every major character it can, only saving the few it does so it can kill them off later, when you’re least expecting it. (Or, if you’ve been a good boy and actually read Martin’s books, you will be expecting it. But, fu*k it. We’re not nerds, are we?)

It does occur to me, however, that the Aquilini’s ownership group is going about its business like some combination of various Lannisters – and HBO – go about theirs.

Linden. Nicholson. Quinn. Naslund? And don’t forget, Tortorella is already there. And I even just heard Brendan Shanahan come up on the radio. Because, sure, why not add another name to the wok?

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Markus Naslund

Not sure whether this is real or whether he’s even on the continent, but it’s catchy.

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On Monday, Steve Yzerman signed a four-year contract extension, keeping him in Tampa Bay – as the de facto God of the Lightning – through a college freshman’s undergrad.

This is important to Vancouver. Why? Because our GM is about to be run out of town.

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You know what, Vancouver? You were never really that good.

I give Mike Gillis credit for his speech, or his interview, on Team 1040 yesterday. I appreciated the candor, and I appreciated at least his effort to accept some responsibility, knowing that he would have to also unintentionally throw John Tortorella’s coaching style/desire playing style/general idea of what hockey is under the bus. Likewise, I have appreciated Tortorella’s sorrow this year, too – the stubborn coach that seemed a lot more tyrant than any everyman has, I dare say, seemed downright pleasant this season, although he’s been unsuccessful to win any game his team had to win. A winner? Not right now. But a decent guy? Yeah, you could say that.

But the problem with the Canucks, their front office, and – honestly – their fans (that’s us) is that their rear-view mirror is hopelessly muddy, scuffed, and fingerprinted.

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by Kolby Solinsky

Editor, White Cover Magazine

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“It’s your only move, Lemon. Sometimes the way back up is down. Let me tell you a story. It’s 1994. I went ice climbing, and I fell into a crevasse. I hurt my leg, and I couldn’t climb back up. So fighting every natural instinct, doing the thing that seemed most awful to me, I climbed down into the darkness. And that’s how I got out. When I got back to base camp, I went and found my fellow climber, the one who had cut me loose after I fell. And I said, ‘Connie Chung, you did the right thing.’”

– Jack Donaghy, ’30 Rock’

**********

Vancouver, we have to go down.

We have to embrace the suck-dom that has been 2014. It could happen again and, sure, there are reasons to be pissed. But getting mad at the Canucks for this wasted year does as much good as getting mad at the Catholic Church while you stand in line at the Vatican… you probably have your reasons, all justified, but it’s just how it is. If you don’t want to pay the fee or spend the time, then head back to your hotel.

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by Kolby Solinsky

Editor, White Cover Magazine

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I am 26 years old, and I am ancient. Apparently, I never did what I was supposed to with my youth, although I didn’t realize it at the time. That’s because I, like many, made the mistake of thinking I was young without realizing how fast I was growing up.

And watching videos like the one above – the one by the New York Times and their incredibly improving stable of video journalists – thins my hair and wrinkles my belly a little more.

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