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by Kolby Solinsky

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Oh, am I late already?

This is what happens now. A trailer is released – sorry, dropped – and the Internet’s quickest-to-midnight ejaculate all over YouTube and their own blogs within five minutes of MGM’s first Tweet. And the weirdest part of all that above is, MGM. Yes, Metro Goldwyn-Mayer has one trick up its sleeve, and its sleeves are well cuffed and crisply linked – this is James Bond, after all.

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by Kolby Solinsky

White Cover Magazine 

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You know Bombardier. Cirque du Soleil. Roots. The NHL, sorta.

There are a long list of Canadian once-startups that have gone onto become major international brands and corporations, often influencing the world and not even stereotypically so – not everything has to be maple syrup-based or covered in beaver tails.

But in the media game, a dominion long dominated by what’s deemed to be cool in Hollywood and New York, the hottest ticket for several years now has been VICE – a former alt magazine in Montreal turned into a positively anti-everything, 35-and-under informational institution.

And on Thursday, VICE and its co-founder Shane Smith announced another earthquake. The company will partner with HBO, where it already has a weekly news show, to launch a ‘daily VICE newscast’ and run it through 2018.

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by Kolby Solinsky

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Win or lose. Neither of those words seem to matter against the Winnipeg Jets.

I mean, of course they do. But if the Jets make the playoffs, they could lose in four or win in seven, and the result won’t diminish what will certainly be the greatest atmosphere in the NHL’s opening round history, at the first playoff game hosted in Winnipeg since 1996. Just like, when you play the Jets, you can come away with a win and you’ll pay for it in throbbing bruises. Motrin pain. Basically, the result isn’t the whole story – sorry, Vince Lombardi.

Vancouver won 5-2 on Tuesday night, ratcheting up the box score with Jets goalie Michael Hutchinson on the bench for the final two tallies. And the Canucks moved two points clearer of the Los Angeles Kings and Calgary Flames, but their double-you doesn’t turpentine the almost overwhelming wave attack of Winnipeg.

You can eat a 50-ounce steak, for sure. But you’ll pay for it in the hotel room.

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by Kolby Solinsky

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From one halfway house to another…

The NHL will, it’s expected, switch their overtime to some sort of 3-on-3 format by 2016. Whether that means it’ll be for the season the ends in 2016 or the season that starts in 2016, we’re not sure. Whether that means it’ll be 4-on-4 for a few minutes and then 3-on-3 for the remainder, or whether overtime will be increased to seven minutes (like it was recently in the AHL), that’s also sort of unclear.

But it’s coming, baby. And there’s one reason for it: the shootout.

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by Kolby Solinsky

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‘Conventional wisdom’ is just that. Conventional. And wise.

The thing with wisdom, though, is it’s an assumed quality. You’re not just wise because you’re old, but you could fool someone to thinking you are if you are. In the same way, you’re not innovative just because you’re young. So often, referring to patterns and proven facts as conventional wisdom does a disservice to whatever you’re trying to pour credit on – there’s a reason great things are great, basically, and someone worked really hard to make them great. But the things’ greatness becomes more appreciated than the people that made them do.

Take, for example, the Los Angeles Kings.

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by Kolby Solinsky

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America, stop trying to understand Chip Kelly.

Stop reading into his plays, his moves, or his strategy – he won’t tell you what it is, even if you ask. And you’ll just kill yourself awaiting the finished product. A couple days ago, I equated Kelly’s offseason to how most of us get our hair cut – sit in the chair, don’t stare at it or fret about odd shapes or triangles, wait until it’s finished, go home and shower or style it, and then look in the mirror and decide whether you like it.

There’s a reason this metaphor works, I think. It’s not that Chip Kelly does’t actually have a plan or that he’s trying to blow up the Eagles. It’s that he just loves fucking with you.

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by Kolby Solinsky

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Not far down the page, today, is an ironic headline.

‘Don’t Believe Everything You Read’

There’s a smirk to be had in seeing this, of course. The article, written by Billie Jean King, is meant to be clicked. It’s meant to be read. But, you know, don’t believe it.

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by Kolby Solinsky

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If the majority of the headline above isn’t already a giveaway, I’ll tell you straight-up: I’m often late to things.

Not lazy. Not even really late to appointments. Just late to the easiest things to be on time for – like hashtags, hairstyles, and movies. So while much of Sunday’s Oscar audience was weighing which of the finalists they liked the best, I was sitting there cramming three hours of Boyhood in, pre-show. I had only seen Grand Budapest Hotel before that, because it was on a plane I sat on a few months ago. And it’s on Netflix.

So why Boyhood?

Quite simple, I chose it to be the one I saw while I still had time because it was by-far the most original of anything in the field, and the most original in some time.

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by Kolby Solinsky

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The Interview isn’t really an assault on North Korea, or Kim Jong-Un. I mean, yeah, the whole movie is about killing him. And spoilers, but they succeed. That said, in a movie like this, killing isn’t much of an insult – it sort of means you’re in on the joke. Like how they say you only roast the ones you love, you also only brutally assassinate the ones the audience are loving to hate.

Instead, The Interview is an assault, really, on everyone who takes themselves too seriously.

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A Wiserhood slow clap is in store for Joey McKenna, the hero who uploaded all of Patrick Kane’s shootout goals – over the first 7.5 years of the surefire Hall of Famer’s career – to YouTube in the fastest seven-minute montage you’ll find.

I mean, the reasons this video is so attractive are obvious. Kane’s skill, speed, and all-around style – the flash he has when he shoots, shifts, and celebrates – have stood out since before he was even drafted, back when he was obliterating the Ontario Hockey League in London. But seeing all of them back-to-back-to-back, you’re able to see it all together in one swift motion… a lot of players have style and sizzle, but Kane does it all at high speed, then shifting to low speed, then with a goalie in front of him to fool.

None of those goals above are accidents. And yeah, the reel is cherry-picked – it’s always going to look good when every clip’s a success story. But pay attention to how many different ways he scores, to how many different goalies he freezes, and to how he’s sort of been in control of the shootout since he started, from that first clip where the colour guy says, “You’re watching the future of the Chicago Blackhawks.”

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