Why in the World Does Coconut Water Cost $5.99 at a Canadian Supermarket?

Can anybody explain this? If you can, why?

Why does coconut water cost $5.99 at a Canadian supermarket?

They sell it at Starbucks, which means it’s partially well-tasting and mainly overpriced hoopla. Starbucks charges $7 for apple slices and pita bread. Is coconut water just the newest part-time celebrity phase? Is there a reason why it’s drank by Hayden Panettiere and the cast of 90210 and not George Clooney?

Is it good for the environment? Like, we’d assume there was some kind of “fair trade” thing going on with coconuts. Right? Otherwise, why is it overpriced like it’s a damn Toyota Prius?

Does it actually taste good, or are you just told it tastes good?

Honestly, coconut water just seems like the Kabbalah of the beverage world.

It makes no sense. It’s just coconut. Anyone who’s had real coconut milk before knows it’s tasty, but it’s not worth your child’s education. They knock these things off trees in Fiji. They drink it by accident. It’s some kind of ancient Third World survival tactic. It’s not meant to be a Western delicacy.

Can anybody, truly, explain why coconut water costs so much money?