The great thing about political conventions is that we get a good glimpse at guys (really, there aren’t any women, are there?) who have been known for a very, very long time, but that we will just get to know and than inflate with ego. We get to see small politicians before they become so famous that their confidence makes them text photos of their penis to young women across the country.
It’s great. And, so, let us introduce the Democratic Party’s newest star – and a guy that we can’t prove is a penis-texter – Julian Castro, the mayor of a small (but, very big) city called San Antonio.
San Antonio is famous for a lot of things. The Alamo. The Spurs. The colour Lime Green. If you’re from the States, you view San Antonio of one of the few sensical places in Texas. If you’re from outside the States, you think of it like it’s a tiny, Hillbilly place that’s too small for the Brady Bunch.
In reality, it’s one of the biggest cities in the country, so what a treat what Julian Castro has allowed us the excuse to re-introduce it.
Castro will now be passed around like cranberry sauce at a Christian family’s dinner. His name will be tossed around inside political circles like Castro is Hispanic for Rubio. He’s one of those guys who will be bandied about and tossed into political rings, and they’ll called him the next great Democrat, just like they called Alfonso Soriano the next great Yankee and butter the next margarine.
But, for now, before we lost all sight and objectivity, don’t forget about San Antonio.
It’s cool again. Dope.