Trailer Review: “The Bay” and the Rise of Emergency-Documentaries

OOOOOOOOOOOO, it’s a movie called The Bay. Okay, is it directed by Michael Bay? No? Is it about Green Bay? San Francisco?

Does it have a lot of lobsters, or Maryland-ish seafood? Are there Chesapeake Bay Retrievers?

Oh, it’s a horror film. There are a lot of those nowadays. Why is it? Oh well, they’re getting better, aren’t they?

Basically, The Bay is a Cloverfield-inspired romp through a not-downtown-like city, and one guy says, “I will show the world what happened here.” It’s not directed by J.J. Abrams, and Odette Yustman isn’t wearing a sweaty t-shirt, so the biggest reasons for watching Cloverfield are gone, too.

We should probably stop comparing this film to Cloverfield. Just because it’s filmed emergency-documentary style, it doesn’t mean it has to be Cloverfield. I mean, would you compare Parks and Recreation to The Office.

Okay, fair enough.