Top 5: What Will John Farrell Inherit in Boston?

John Farrell is now the manager of the Boston Red Sox, a position he always wanted and was waiting in the wings for, until he left for a two-year Missionary position in Toronto that could have only been classified as always temporary.

Now, Farrell returns to Fenway Park, where he’ll inherit a team coming off its worst season since 1965. Here are the Top 5 Things He’ll Have to Worry About, in no paricular order…

Embarrassment

People in Boston like the Red Sox. If you didn’t know that, watch a Ben Affleck film. It’s as easy a stereotype as their awful accents.

Now, Boston is coming off a 2011 where their ballooned salary cap failed to even stay sobernevermind not making the playoffs — and a 2012 where they rode their franchise into the dirt like Canstantinople in charge of the Roman Empire.

As odd as it sounds, Farrell is leaving Toronto for Boston, and he’s going from a better team to a worse team.

Some Good Players

Dustin Pedroia. Jacoby Ellsbury. Bucholtz? Lester? It gets pretty thin once you rip through former MVP candidates. Pedroia can still ball, because he actually wants to. Same for Ellsbury. Can they carry them? Because, you know, they’ll have to.

Implosion

Right now, Ferrell is basically a fireman heading into a burning building, or Bill Paxton in 1998, when he was inspecting the wreckage of the Titanic 81 years after it sunk to the bottom of the Atlantic. Not only did the Red Sox crash and burn on the field in 2012 (*see: Embarrassment), but they had the audacity to combine that with an awful clubhouse and a team fabric that was coming apart at the seams.

Luckily for Massachusetts, they can always just buy a new team.

Dice K

Wait… Daisuke Matsuzaka is still in the Major Leagues?

The AL East

Still, perhaps, the best division in baseball. It only got tougher last year, when Baltimore decided to jump back into relevancy. Add to that the fact that Ferrell has to coach against three guys like Joe Girardi, Buck Showalter, Joe Maddon, and (Insert Name Here), and it doesn’t get any easier for a rebuild.

It may actually take more than one year for Boston to climb out of this 3 Days A.D. period they’re in right now.