Top 5: TV Shows You Didn’t Know Were On The Air

Network television is a funny thing. Actually, it’s not funny at all. That’s kind of the problem. (More on the Two and a Half Men thing later.) Network TV is just bad. A lot of it is good, though. Modern Family, The Good Wife, and… oh, Hell. It stops there.

Every year, CBS, NBCS, and ABC unleash a flurry of new crap onto the airwaves and a few are good enough to stick. The rest wind up on an IMDB of a future famous actor and a lot of future Burger King employees, and we’ll look at them years down the road and go, “Huh. I’ve never heard of that, but Leonardo DiCaprio was in it…”

Here are the Top 5 Shows You Didn’t Know Were On The Air, in no particular order.

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The New Normal

It’s a show about a gay, male couple and their family. This might have been funny four years ago, when Cameron and Mitchell didn’t exist and Happy Endings hadn’t zapped the last bit of creativity from every Hollywood screenwriter’s brain. Now, it’s just one of those shows you find yourself watching On Demand and you go, “Holy fu*k, I just wasted 22 minutes.”

Malibu Country

The only thing worse than Reba having a new show is watching Reba’s new show.

*NOTE: Texas accents in California aren’t cute anymore.

Last Man Standing

Tim Allen lives in a house with a wife and only daughters. It has a laugh track. (I’m assuming it has a laugh track. I’ve never watched it.)

It’s basically Home Improvement, but without Wilson or the grunting. So, without the fun.

Beauty and the Beast

Sometimes, executives and (uncreative) writers get this terrible idea that taking a Disney movie or some other kind of fairy tale and putting it in a modern setting for 44 minutes a week will work. (It never does.) Most of them, though, at least make the effort to rename the show from the original title. It’s often thinly veiled, but the effort is there.

Not this time.

Add to that the long-awaited return of Kristin Kreuk to anything besides a skin or shampoo commercial… which is sadly somehow unattractive.

Guys With Kids

Shows like this are the sole reason for questioning whether or not acting is an art form. They say you’re only as good as you’re weakest link. Maybe you’re only as good as your weakest cliche or strained laugh. The simple idea of this show is insulting to our intelligence. It’s shows like this that make people think “moving to Hollywood and becoming a screenwriter” is easy.

We get it. Okay? Men pushing strollers is supposed to be funny.

Supposed to be.