Chief Football Correspondent, White Cover Magazine
In a mere matter of, like, two hours on Monday night, the words “Darnell Dockett” and “AJ McCarron’s Girlfriend” and “Brent Musberger” took on a whole new meaning in America.
For those who care about the football game, Alabama beat Notre Dame in an outright massacre, 42-14. The game was so embarrassing, it caused more damage to the Roman Catholic Church than The Borgias. It’s not even worth a column on this website, and this website sinks pretty low.
But, the story of the above mentioned Twitter Trends does.
Here’s a catch-up, if you missed it:
- After Alabama’s first touchdown (which seemed like it took place only 45 seconds into the game), ESPN got AJ McCarron’s mother and girlfriend on camera. His girlfriend, Katherine Webb, is a beautiful woman. A former Miss Alabama, actually. Anybody with eyes could have realized it right away. Play-by-play announced Brent Musburger then voiced it with the awkward line, “Man, quarterbacks get all the good looking women, don’t they?”
- Actually, here’s the full transcript: “You see that looooooooooovely lady there… former Miss Alabama, and that’s AJ McCarron’s girlfriend, okay? You quarterbacks, you get all the good looking women… what a beautiful woman! Wow! Whoa! … If you’re a youngster in Alabama, start getting the football and throwing it around with Pop.”
- As Stewie Griffin would say, “Yeaahhhhh. Grosssssss.”
- (If you’re unaware, Musburger is no stranger to this kind of commentary, and we love him for it. He was the guy who made Brett Favre’s pen(is) pal Jenn Sterger famous in 2006.)
- Suddenly, “AJ McCarrons” was a top trender on American twitter deeds. Everyone got in on the action, most of them offering advice for Brent Musburger. The rest just kind of dry heaved over their keyboard. Again, Katherine Webb really took our breaths away. (That’s intended to be a compliment.)
- By the end of the third quarter, Ms. Webb’s Twitter account had gone from just over 600 followers before the game to 75,000.
- Darnell Dockett — a Pro Bowl defender for the Arizona Cardinals — then awkwardly Tweeted his number to Katherine Webb and asked her to meet him for dinner at Wing Stop. Yes, Wing Stop. He then followed that up with another Tweet explaining that he intended that to be a Direct Message, not a public Tweet. (I’m just surprised so many people follow Darnell Dockett.)
Okay, are you all caught up?
This all lead up to the greatest Tweet of all time and, if Dockett was privy to this information before hand, maybe this whole thing would never have happened:
Yup. Side-splitting Tweet by @TomahawkNation. He deserves Ms. Webb’s new followers.
*Now, here’s the clip with Ms. Sterger a little while back. And, just below, is another video which proves that Mr. Musburger can really pick ’em.