The Tale of Erik Karlsson and Ottawa’s Ever-Present Inferiority Complex


by Kolby Solinsky

Editor, White Cover Magazine


Ottawa is a forgotten capital. Like Canberra, almost nobody really cares what goes on inside its borders except for those who live there. We say “Ottawa” all the time, but we don’t say it flatteringly. We say it when we refer to our federal politicians, and it’s normally reserved for speeches or dressing downs from the West. Things like, “Well, I have no idea what those fu*kers in Ottawa are doing.” That doesn’t refer to Ottawans (Ottawatans? Ottawers?) as a populace. It actually refers to the weasel little pricks we elected and then like to conveniently distance ourselves from.

Ottawa’s irrelevance spreads to the Senators, as well, because nobody else in Canada really gives a damn whether they live or die.


Sydney Morning Herald — “10 Capital Cities That Suck”


While Sens’ fans in Canada’s capital (the amount of which cannot even normally fill Scotiabank Place) were holding a ‘Hatefest’ for Pittsburgh’s Matt Cooke, the rest of us were rolling our eyes. When will they get over it? Are they this starved for attention?

(Just look at the guy in the CBC video above. The “Sens Army” guy. Who is he fooling? Are we really supposed to fear that cue ball?)

The whole Ottawa rift with Cooke stunk suspiciously like a city and team that just so desperately wanted to remind us all they exist. Sure, Matt Cooke has a history with almost every team in the NHL… except Ottawa, until now. Hooray. Welcome to the future.

On February 14, Cooke’s skate cut through 70 per cent of Ottawa d-man Erik Karlsson’s Achilles tendon. That’s like slicing into a steak to tell how cooked it is. The play was a freak injury. There is no way Cooke even has the skill to plan or pull off an attack of that brilliance at that speed. But, it’s Ottawa, and somebody has to be to blame for everything… for picking Wade Redden over Zdeno Chara, for picking Chris Phillips over both of them, for glorifying Daniel Alfredsson, and for drafting Alexandre Daigle. Someone else is always to blame.

And now, their saviour has apparently returned. Or, will return. Or something.

On Thursday, Ottawa takes on Washington, and word is you can expect to see Karlsson in the lineup. Is it too soon? Doesn’t a 70 per cent obliteration of one of the most pivotal points of cartilage in your body warrant a little more of a rest? Or, is this just hockey?

Ottawa always asks too much of everybody. It appears Karlsson’s the latest victim.