The MTV Vault: “Laguna Beach”

Kristin Cavallari and Stephen Colletti - Laguna Beach Season 1 - MTV

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by Connor Foote

Lotus Land Correspondent, White Cover Magazine

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That picture above is perfect. Can any one snap sum up the entirety of a successful-to-failed “reality” series that lasted just a little too long for anyone’s comfort? (*It should be noted, too, that it was accidental. I was actually spending 20 minutes of my day watching Episode 5 from Season 1 of Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County and had to piss. When I paused, that was the image. Of course, scenes like the one above should not be considered rare. The entire show was that setting, but repeated and put on loop. The captions help, though.)

But, really, it’s incredible. It’s as good as this, but not really.

On the left, you see one cast member. She’s laughing and enjoying the moment, because she knows the moment is perfect and it will only get better for her. Some people are ashamed of hoarding. She’s not. She shouldn’t be. She may be in the wrong — and, back then, the word slut (in this context) wasn’t used to describe Facebook bullying or suicide — but she’s loving every second of it, because being wrong makes absolute sense to her.

On the right, we have another cast member. He’s pissed off and angry, but he’s also trying. Unfortunately, the more he tries, the worse it gets. He knows he can try all he can, but he also knows the person he’s yelling at will ride her fame and temporary evilness to an engagement and baby to/with Jay Cutler.

This is the setting and the successful formula to every MTV reality series. Life of RyanThe Hills, which was just a “grown-up” version of Laguna Beach. Even their sitcoms follow the same script, and I mean script literally, because their “reality” shows are scripted.

But, that’s MTV. It’s what we want. It won’t change because we won’t, and neither will the cast members on the left or on the right.

*NOTE: Just in case you were wondering where every single kiddie from the series is now, somebody else has already thought about it, and they turned it into a Tumblr.

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