Selena Gomez and Manti Te’o Are Too Young For You, Bro.


by Connor Foote

Lotus Land Correspondent, White Cover Magazine


Have you ever realized how young your idols are?

Think about it. If you’re over 25, the chances are strong that your favourite famous person hasn’t even graduated from university. The reason, as Bill Maher hit on the head on Jan. 31, is that most of them are college athletes.

Or, Selena Gomez. And, if you forgot just how old the hounded female pop star — and, actually, decent actress — is, you need only look at the latest lines spoken by her official source:

“Selena has kept an eye on Justin in the news and just laughed and laughed,” a source (for Gomez) told Hollywood Life, according to the Huffington Post. “She doesn’t give a sh*t anymore. Justin is crazy and she doesn’t want to be his mom anymore. She feels so free and loves hanging out with her girlfriends. He’s weird and she doesn’t find his behavior hot or anything. She just wants a man who has his s–t together, and not a weird boy.”

Hmm. Mature. He’s also apparently a big butt sniffer. (LOL!)


*If you didn’t see Maher’s rant about Manti Te’o and his overgrown sob sisters — i.e. America — in January, the video is in that link above and the transcript is here:

“Tonight, I’d like to find out… how we became a nation of dick-less, armchair warriors. Starting with the football player who last night attempted to explain himself to Katie Couric. And, even after years of taking vicious hits to the head, he still answered her questions better than Sarah Palin did. (Audience erupts with laughter.) But, what puzzles me is not the scandal of whether he lied, but the relationship itself. Oh, sure, what Manti (Te’o) had sounds attractive: a time-consuming virtual relationship where you get to talk endlessly with your girlfriend without those annoying breaks for sex. (Audience laughter.) But, doesn’t it say something about the state of our manhood that this primal warrior never even had sex because his “girlfriend” only existed in Fairy Land? And, sadder still, why was this dumb jock such a hero to so many men in the first place? Grown-ass men who were let down by him. (Audience erupts with laughter.) Red-blooded American males whose mood on Saturday is as dependent on how well a 20-year-old kid tackles a 19-year-old kid. Middle-aged guys who wear replica jerseys with the name and number of their favourite boyfriend, I mean, player. (Audience erupts with laughter.) Guys who get in fights with other guys in other replica jerseys over whose 20-year-old is better.

“Is the relationship American men have with their sports heroes really any less weird than the one Manti had with his “girlfriend”?”

So, you’re saying we should buy authentic jerseys?