NSFW: Give a Full-Hearted Welcome to the Bikini Hockey League

Canadians puts up with ice. All year long. We have two seasons: winter and July. But, like everyone else, we like boobs. We even have terms like “Puck Sluts,” And, that’s how ideas like this come along:

THE BIKINI HOCKEY LEAGUE. Even 14-year-olds masturbating to a 2007 copy of Maxim magazine interrupted themselves when they saw that headline.

These kinds of stories have to be written with sensitivity to the athletes. Because, as ridiculous as this whole idea is — that some kind of scantily-clad league based on bra size and La Senza lingerie can actually pass for women’s equality — the women look like they’ve having fun. And, maybe, they deserve to.

But, really, it’s not surprising.

There’s a Lingerie Football League. There’s a Bikini Basketball League. There’s a show called The Client List starring Jennifer Love Hewitt where she gives handjobs at a massage parlour and calls it a single mom making good for her kids.

Listen, there’s nothing wrong with prostitution. It’s a beautiful thing. But, call it what it is. The W channel stands for Women, not Whorrible.

“We heard about the league awhile back, but now seeing it assembled, I feel the need to share a few thoughts on it. I feel ranty,” wrote The Score’s Justin Bourne two weeks ago.

“The concept seemed ridiculous from the get-go (the Lingerie Football League’s “success” aside), and of course, it is… It’s just frustrating that they aren’t taking it seriously, or aren’t playing real hockey.”

He’s right. Seeing decent women’s hockey players waste their talent on a “sideshow” — as Bourne puts it — is upsetting. It’s a let down. It would be like seeing a prospective journalist start a blog.

(Slow clap.)