Manti Te’o Gets Worse at the Internet

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by Kolby Solinsky

Editor and Agnostic Atheist, White Cover Magazine

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Every time he tries to correct the situation, Manti Te’o gets worse and worse at the Internet. At this point, he’s as digitally illiterate as an 85-year-old woman in Arizona or any major daily North American newspaper.

Newsweek reported a new twist on their Tumblr on Sunday night:

“Manti Te’o has told family and friends that the women who was the voice of his fictitious girlfriend Lennay Kekua called him in December and said she had to fake her own death months earlier to elude drug dealers, the Honolulu Star-Advertiser has learned.”

Want more juice?

Not only is Te’o’s NFL draft stock reportedly in danger of dropping — which is predictable, albeit stupid — but Katie Couric will be the first to land an interview with Notre Dame’s star linebacker.

And then, there’s the news that Te’o actually has a real girlfriend and has for some time (according to FOX News).

“Friends close to the couple say that the Notre Dame football star has been dating Alexandra del Pilar, who attends Notre Dame sister school St. Mary’s college.

“According to the New York Post, while Te’o was supposedly grieving over Kekua, he was actually spending time with Del Pilar, 21, whose father happens to be a cancer specialist.

“Meanwhile, while Kekua had supposedly died back in September, Del Pilar was tweeting away on her social media account about her blossoming relationship with the linebacker.”

Now, this all sounds weird, but keep a couple things in mind: 1) Te’o is not Newt Gingrich, and 2) You can’t cheat on a pixelated person.

That is all.