Kobe Bryant Tells America to Shut Up. America Keeps Talking.

Call it presumptive. Call it too early. Call it what America wanted to see.

However you flip the coin, the Los Angeles Lakers need to wake up. The panic meter is high, and Kobe Bryant is doing his best to just… slow it down… as little.

“Everybody shut up,” he said to a throne of giggles and laughter from the media scrum around him. “Let us work. At the end of the day, you’ll be happy with the result as you normally are.”

Kelly Dwyer of Yahoo! Sports agrees:

“The anti-shut up parts allow my daughters to enjoy too-expensive school lunches and for Skip Bayless to harvest more gallons of newt eyes within the trunk of his Bentley,” he wrote for Ball Don’t Lie. “It’s the day-to-day back and forth that keeps this game interesting and keeps all these websites and cable channels afloat.

“After 96 minutes of – admittedly terrible – basketball, though? Seriously, shut up. The trees haven’t even been stripped of their leaves, yet.”

Everybody’s under fire in L.A.

There’s Bryant, of course, and then Nash, head coach Mike Brown, Dwight Howard, and Metta World Peace.

Nash is hurt now, and Laker Nation is 0-2. We could keep writing, but it just gets worse and worse.

Of course, realize that stat line… 0-2. There is a lot of season left, and the Lakers have the team and the pedigree to get it done. It’s just that it’s fun and – with an inexperienced and championship-less coach in Mike Brown – it’s easy.

Maybe surprisingly, ESPN’s Big Mouth Bass, Stephen A. Smith, said it best:

“It’s not that Mike Brown can’t coach. It’s that he’s not Phil Jackson.”

Well… good point.

L.A. takes on