It’s Okay For the Seattle Seahawks To Run Up the Score


Seahawks Fake Punt
Up 47-17 in the fourth quarter, the Seattle Seahawks faked a punt and grabbed a first down against the helpless Buffalo Bills.


by Kolby Solinsky

Editor, White Cover Magazine


Full disclosure. I live in Vancouver. Always have. I’m biased, and I like the Seattle Seahawks. You know why? It’s not because of where I live. It’s because nobody else does.

There is not a more forgotten-about city in the American sports landscape than the Emerald City. Nobody sticks up for them. Nobody cares about them. People laugh at them for their blue and teal uniforms and their goofy names like ‘Seahawks’ and ‘Mariners’. They’ve only been to one Super Bowl in their history, and they had it officiated away from them. Of course, few people outside of Seattle remember this. (Because, again, they’re forgotten.)

If anything, they are lucky knowing that they’re not hated. But, that’s only because nobody takes them seriously.

Even when they beat the Green Bay Packers, it’s clouded in the smog of a blown call at the end of the game and an Aaron Rodgers rant on his own radio show. Do any of the Seahawks have their own show? Do they get credit for sacking the 2011 NFL MVP eight times in the first half of that game? Does anyone remember all the plays they had taken away from them? Do they have old Vince Lombardi footage to run through every FOX pre-game show? (Seriously, Wisconsin. He’s been dead since the Seventies. It’s time to move on.)

For their entire existence, the Seattle Seahawks have been thumped, walloped, and left for dead. Their rookie quarterback Russell Wilson is a footnote to the week-in, week-out concussion saga of Robert Griffin III or Andrew Luck’s less-than-impressive touchdown-to-interception ratio.

Pete Carroll is a rolling punchline for stiffs at ESPN who can’t handle his over-the-top celebrations or his Happy Go Lucky (!) demeanour.

They get no love. Everyone else gets the women, and they get the crabs. (That joke was stolen from Bill Maher.)

So, you know what?

If they wanna bang up 58 points against the God-awful Arizona Cardinals, or if they wanna slap around the Buffalo Bills in their only live appearance in Canada, or if they wanna run up the score against anybody on national television…

Fu*k it. Go right ahead.