How ‘The Bachelor’ Ruined Jewelry For Me

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by Kolby Solinsky

Editor, White Cover Magazine

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Let me just say it about be out with it: I hate jewelry.

Those of you who know me already know this. I hate it on myself. I hate it on women.

I think it complicates the process. Attraction is supposed to be carnal. It’s about heat and chemistry. It’s scientific. It’s about touch and grip and passion. Jewellry is just an obstacle. It’s shiny, sure, but it’s clunky and heavy and women just look awkward trying to balance it all on their bodies.

I mean, if you’re looking at the Mona Lisa, do you really care about the frame?

Well, on Episode 4 of the latest season of The Bachelor, the executives at ABC — as well as Sean Lowe and a very willing contestant for his heart named Leslie H. — only fuelled my cringe-filled half-a-smile.

On their one-on-one date, the two went to some warehouse with wooden floors for a romantic dinner. They wore nice clothes. Well, he wore a suit (it may have been a tux) and she wore a full-blown circus.

Earrings that dangled every time she moved her head. A giant-a*s necklace stocked with nothing but your kid’s tuition. And, a green dress lined with chrome… er, diamonds. Sorry. It looks the same.

Add to the pot the ingredient of shallowness that is present in every episode of this reality show, and it was an almost unbearable 15 minutes of television.

Leslie admitted she actually would rather spend time with Sean than have the earrings. Which, like… congratulations, I guess?

Yeah. People over possessions. Who knew?

Apparently, overpriced feminine accessories are a Ferrari now.

Listen, the female fascination with diamonds is understandable and it’s been reinforced by history… history that is intentional and manufactured, much like the blood diamonds on every lavishly dressed woman out there.

Maybe it’s been caused by Cleopatra. Or, maybe it was Elizabeth Taylor’s portrayal of said Egyptian queen. Diamonds are now the ultimate symbol of royalty. They’re regal. They’re supposed to make you look nice.

But, sexy? Attractive? Desirable?

None of the above.

It didn’t help that Sean essentially brought Leslie H. on the one-on-one date just to not give her a rose. The diamonds were like a consolation prize. They were the ultimate “At least you got this” gift. They were a way to make her feel like a princess, even though she’d have to swim the moat after.

(Don’t worry. The moat didn’t have crocodiles. The moat was a limousine ride to LAX with a camera pointed at her for her reaction. She did have to give the necklace back, however, so… on to the next one.)

Again… this diamond thing is understandable.

Men have the same unrealistic fascination with jerseys and running shoes. Do we think women get all hot and clammy when we throw a Kevin Durant jersey on or when we buy a new Boston Red Sox hat?

Yeah, we probably do. We’re wrong, but we don’t think we are.

We’re foolish, too. We’re trapped by our own opinions of what’s cool and what’s not, and they don’t all apply to the other gender.

Women have the same problem, and it starts with the clunker around their neck.

And, it’s not changing because — unfortunately — diamonds are forever.

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*Is there a difference between the following two photos?

Woman in Blue Jewelry
(Photo “courtesy” of JewelryWithLove.com)
Snoop Dogg wearing Oklahoma City Thunder jersey
(Photo “courtesy” of KevinDurant35.com)

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The Bachelor - Sean Lowe - Cast of Women
(Photo “courtesy” of StarPulse.com)