Chip Kelly’s Staying in Oregon. So, F*ck, Win Already!


by Kolby Solinsky

Biased Oregon Beat Writer, White Cover Magazine


(Apologies for using an exclamation mark in the title, or anywhere. I’m aware they are the punctuation equivalent to the Devil’s feces.)

So, Oregon got their wish. Their head coach and saviour Chip Kelly — the inventor of their high-flying Nike-fueled offence — is staying at home in Eugene. He chose to win the PAC-12 and have another shot at a BCS title instead of being expect to win right away in somewhere like Cleveland or Philadelphia — two teams that have never won a Super Bowl before and are sure to follow suit next season, as well.

Good news for Oregon. You’ve got that all settled. So, what the Hell? Can you win already?

There are no more excuses for this team. It was okay in 2011, even though the Ducks lost the BCS Championship on a field goal to Cam Newton and his invincible Auburn Tigers. But, these last two years have seen the Ducks squander a roster that was tattooed in place for the final game of the season.

Of course, they would have had to face some form of Alabama in either year.

2012 — this season — was the most disappointing. The Ducks’ only loss came in overtime to the Stanford Cardinal, a team so exceptional in its own right that it grabbed the Rose Bowl just two days before Oregon grabbed its Fiesta.

Notre Dame and Ohio State were the only other two teams that didn’t suffer a regulation loss in 2012, but its Alabama in Monday’s final game of the season. They’ll get to go at it against Rudy and Grand Bend, Indiana, while Kelly and the Ducks plot how not to get shot down too early next season.

Oregon’s all set, but they have no excuses now.

Come to think of it, they didn’t this year, either.