2013 NFL Preview: The Cincinnati Bengals and Mickey from “Seinfeld”

Cincinnati Bengals Seinfeld equivalent – Mickey Why? – Come on, you need an explanation? (They’re small.) It’s almost like the Bengals are just trying to copy whatever the Ravens or Steelers have done, and then they focus on appearing different when they’re side-by-side. “If we both wear this shirt, we’ll look like idiots!” Offseasonish – […]

Read more "2013 NFL Preview: The Cincinnati Bengals and Mickey from “Seinfeld”"

2013 NFL Preview: The Baltimore Ravens and Joe DiMaggio’s Donuts

Baltimore Ravens Seinfeld equivalent – Joe DiMaggio Why? – Flacco definitely dunks his donut. Offseasonish – It’s been hard in Bal-tee-more since The Wire got shut down. Real offseasonish – Ray Rice is little, but expands like the food that bears his name once he goes into contact. He’s like a puffer fish of muscle, and he’s now a […]

Read more "2013 NFL Preview: The Baltimore Ravens and Joe DiMaggio’s Donuts"

2013 NFL Preview: The Pittsburgh Steelers and Izzy Mendelbaum

Pittsburgh Steelers Seinfeld equivalent – Izzy Mendelbaum, the old guy who can’t lose. Why? – That’s pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it? Offseasonish – Hines Ward retired amid a cloud of media-induced controversy, and Mike Wallace is still figuring things out. Both were in The Dark Knight Rises, so that’s cool, I guess. Real offseasonish – A whole lot of […]

Read more "2013 NFL Preview: The Pittsburgh Steelers and Izzy Mendelbaum"