Sorry, Andrew Desjardins. That Wasn’t a Match Penalty.

———————————————————— by Puck Hockey Correspondent and Occasional Shakespeare Character, White Cover Magazine ———————————————————— So, on Tuesday night, San Jose’s Andrew Desjardins received a Match Penalty — that means he was kicked out of the game — for what seems to be a completely clean hit on Chicago’s Jamal Mayers.

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WATCH: Pavel Datsyuk Leaves the KHL in Serious Shootout Style

———————————————————— by Jakob Smirnoff Kontinental Hockey Korrespondent, White Cover Magazine ———————————————————— This move was invented by Steven Stamkos. It was perfected by Robbie Schremp. And, one day ago it was made famous by one Pavel Datsyuk. He’s the greatest puck wizard in the world — like Gandalf with a Reebok blade — and he’s on his […]

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WATCH: Dylan McLaughlin’s Amazing Between-The-Legs Flip Dangle (That’s a Real Term)

The USHL stands for United States Hockey League (we’re assuming) and, in it, there is a team called the Cedar Rapids RoughRiders. This proves that, yes, not only CFL teams overdo that name. On October 15, RoughRiders forward (we’re assuming) Dylan McLaughlin went inside-outside and flipsy-doodle to score a beauty. What’s impressive here is not […]

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Pete Carroll: “I Don’t Care” What Terrell Owens Has Done

Good on Pete Carroll, the former USC genius-turned Seattle struggler whose newest acquisition, Terrell Owens, comes to the Pacific Northwest with more baggage than a suburban housewife on a cross-Atlantic flight.“I don’t care what happened before,” said Carroll. Before is long. Owens burned his bridges in San Francisco, Philadelphia, and Dallas (and each of their […]

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