Kansas City Chiefs
Seinfeld equivalent – Joel Horneck
Why? – Jerry is finally forced to break up with his childhood best friend – the guy he kind of liked but more-so just kind of put up with as a kid – once it’s clear he just can’t take him and his demanding schedule anymore.
Let’s be frank. The Chiefs haven’t been cool since Len Dawson led them to victory in Super Bowl IV, in 1970. We don’t want to dump them. We just don’t have enough time to watch their games.
Offseasonish – Will Peyton Hillis’s arrival ruin the return of Jamaal Charles?
Real offseasonish – No.
Matinee Idol – Matt Cassel. The bro can’t throw, but he kind of looks like Tom Brady, right? He was Brady’s backup for years, and now he’s a much-worse starting quarterback on a slightly worse AFC team. Cassel is a poor man’s Brady. Kansas City is a poor man’s New England.
Jamaal Charles – Much has been made about the dude who blew out his knee in the second game oft the 2011 season, but it’s probably all for naught. They say he will have to share carries with Peyton Hillis, but they forget that Charles’s best year came in 2010, when he had less carried than running partner Thomas Jones. Of course, Charles did rack up 6.4 yards per attempted that season. That can’t happen again, right?
Well, the boy looks pretty good.
Peyton Hillis – Leave it to the Chiefs to grab the latest victim of the Madde curse. Of course, leave it to the Browns to drop a guy on the cusp of recovery. This is all good news for KC.
Dwayne Bowe – Are people just forgetting about this guy?
Fantas Sleeps – It’s Bowe. As good as he is, Bowe is being passed over in countless Fantasy leagues because he just doesn’t have the pop or Provence of guys above and below him. He’s the Antonio Brown of the AFC West. If Vincent Jackson goes before Dwayne Bowe, you can say we told you so.
A great year will be scuttled by a division now owned by the Unholy Trinity of Peyton-Elway-Fox. The Chiefs will grow going into 2013/14, when they will make the playoffs, but at least they’ll still have the NFL’s most underrated uniform set.