Seinfeld equivalent – George Costanza
Why? – There’s really not a whole lot going on here. Just collect your EI cheque and try again tomorrow. Also, try doing the opposite. What have you got to lose? It’s not hard to picture anybody in Cleveland saying, “My name is George. I’m unemployed and I love with my parents.”
Offseasonish – No, seriously, there’s nothing going on here. You’d be busier following the sh*t floating down the Cuyahoga River. (*Okay, sorry, we’ll drop that. It was only 43 years ago, and we hear Cleveland’s seafood industry has really improved.) Cleveland was also in the news a couple of times this summer.
Real offseasonish – The only sense of excitement – either by jersey vendors or by those actually following the on-field action in Cleveland – is that the Browns have Trent Richardson, who they grabbed with the third overall pick in this summer’s NFL Draft.
That said, Richardson just had surgery. And, Cleveland doesn’t have the best record when it comes to recuperating their players. Or, when it comes to sticking up for their recuperating players, who are recuperating on their own facilities. And, while he’s been recuperating, Richardson has also been modeling.
Matinee Idol – Colt McCoy. Yes. Still.
Trent Richardson – There’s no point in whining about his sure-to-be-soon-dead NFL dreams. (*That’s not a knock on Richardson, per say, but Cleveland has become the pre-Griffin Clippers of the NFL.) Let’s just look at his highlights while we still can…
Brandon Weeden – Seneca Wallace saw action last year, and Colt McCoy is still kicking around, but Brandon Weeden is the guy Cleveland is pinning its hopes on. The 22nd overall selection in the 2012 Draft, Weeden better hope he remains under the radar, because he’s looked nothing but solid, so far. Hey, you can’t let decades of terrible franchise-ing get you down, right?
Greg Little and Mohammed Massaquoi – These are Cleveland’s (projected) top two receivers (/Ed Reed’s new meal). If you can tell us who they are, we’ll tell you we don’t care.
The Offensive Line – Let’s just say this, no matter what their names or numbers are: Brandon Weeden will need all the help he can get, as both a rookie and a Brown.
High School Game of the Week – We knew they would try a new recruitment strategy…
Fantasy Sleeps – Scott Cullen’s going with Greg Little, at the wide receiver slot (*link above). Sure, why not?
In all fairness, Trent Richardson and Brandon Weeden have given the Browns and their fans some much-necessary excitement heading into October, 2012. How good will they be? Will they last? Can Trent come back at One Hundo?
Who knows. Who cares. (And, no, those weren’t questions.) Cleveland desperately needs a glimmer of hope, and this is the first time in a long time that they’ve had top-tier prospects at the two focal offensive positions. Also, it would be better if nobody watched these guys in the preseason, so as not to jinx them for Week 1.
Just let it fly, and see what happens.