Top 10: The Most Titanic Pairings on Television Today

Alliteration, much? Yes, Brian Williams has two mentions on this list. Yes, there is a dead person, or two. Yes, it’s about the personality and not the substance, but doesn’t a good pair of personality often create quality programming?

Television may be drowning under the weight of its own satellites, but here are 10 duos that not only heighten the ultimate picture show box’s power of production, but they also deserve their own show.

(*in no particular order…)

Jon Stewart and Brian Williams

Every time these two are on “stage” or “at desk” together, everyone’s thinking the same thing: do they really want to kiss or does it just look like that?

In all honesty, they’ve routinely come 1-2 in the Most Trusted Man in America poll (respectively), so it’s always a treat to see them get together to analyze or trash (respectively) political figureheads.

Bill Maher and Christopher Hitchens

Bill Maher is a comedian, but his wit and his ability to learn about an ingest things that he should have no business knowing allows him to properly shame everyone who comes on his show and flaps their gums without taking the time to educate themselves on what they’re speaking of.

Except Christopher Hitchens. May he rest in peace in whatever world atheists go to, post-departing. (*Yes, they’re both atheists, too.)

Rush Limbaugh’s Top Half and Rush Limbaugh’s Bottom Half

Rush Limbaugh’s brain can’t possibly believe what his penis ends up saying.

Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith

Half the desk is a Southern Baptist church, and the other a Jerry Springer look-alike with a cattle prod. Their show elicits rage, hypocrisy, ill-informed takeaways, and sometimes genuine reflection and pause. But, they’re raking in the dollars, and they’re doing it all on purpose.

Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly

Christ…

Brian Williams and David Letterman

Here you have the world’s foremost talk show host and the world’s foremost anchorman. Together, they ask each other questions – and they’re both brilliant interviewers, in their own right – while Williams get to exercise his more-than-able funny bone and Letterman gets to show off how much he reads the New York Times.

It’s gold, Jerry. Gold.

Shaquille O’Neal and Normal-Sized Men

Shaq has always had fun on the sidelines or off the court with little men… tiny men… pygmies, cabbage patch workers, or dwarves. Well, everyone is, in comparison to him.

(*His work with Craig Sager and his “horri-awful” pinkish, reddish sports jackets is in the Hall of Famous.)

Mitt Romney and Rick Perry

This isn’t so much a pairing as it is an awesome clash of ideals and influence. It’s like each is the Angel or Devil on the other’s shoulder.

Will Ferrell and Conan O’Brien

Take your pick: the head shaving, or the Anchorman 2 announcement? Conan wouldn’t even have a new time slot if it weren’t for Will Ferrell’s genius, and Will Ferrell wouldn’t still be offered feature films if it weren’t for his appearances on CoCo’s talk show.

Stephen and Steven

Maybe this isn’t fair, since this pairing is a little old, at least right now. But, we’re holding out hope for the future.

Still, consider this: Jon Stewart’s Daily Show has long been a breeding ground for comedic talent. But, you’re telling me that – at one time – Stewie had both Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell as his understudies? You mean, the Daily Show employed both the host of the Colbert Report and Michael Scott at the same time?

They wouldn’t even allow that much wattage on Noah’s Ark. He could only take two of everything.