2013 NFL Preview: The New York Jets and Jackie Chiles

New York Jets

Seinfeld equivalent – Jackie Chiles

Why? – Just a clown. We laugh at him because he’s a clown. He’s rich, but he’s a clown. And, he never wins.

Offseasonish – The Tim Tebow Saga, and the slow and sudden realization by everyone that Mark Sanchez is no longer the New York Jets’ starting quarterback.

Just in case you haven’t seen this script 4,526 times this summer, here’s Skip Bayless blowing a load to Tim Tebow’s Christian character and/or his shirtless chest.

Real Offseasonish – In all seriousness, Tebow’s arrival signals a huge sure-to-be storyline for the 2012/13 New York Jets, and it shows that the organization is finally ready to put proper pressure on Mark Sanchez. Call their strategy fair or not, but Sanchez was given the keys to the kingdom right out of USC, and while he’s taken the Jets to two AFC Championships, it’s fair to say he hasn’t had to endure the kind of skepticism or rude awakening that most quarterbacks do.

Santonio Holmes and Darrelle Revis are looking for a championship, and Rex Ryan is looking to keep his job. The Jets turned down Hard Knocks due to some odd and miscalculated belief that folks would then take them seriously.

After three years of becoming once-again relevant, the Jets can finally turn their attention to football.

Matinee Idol – Tim Tebow. Come on, like, was it going to be anyone else?

Rex Ryan – The fat man appears to have closed his mouth just a little, knowing that the sideshow he was trying to create has become a real thing.

Mark Sanchez – How long until he’s replaced? First Take has it at six weeks, at least count. Two weeks? Two downs? We’ll see.

New York City – The Giants are winners, the Rangers are Stanley Cup favourites (right?), the Yankees are in the hunt for another magical October, but the Knicks and Jets are making headlines for all the wrong reasons. New York is the most polarizing – and distracting – city in America, and its teams like to toy with its citizens like Manhattan is some kind of schizophrenic ward patient. How long until the bubble pops like a U.S. real estate market?

Santonio Holmes – This guy would have done well on Laguna Beach. “So much drama, so much drama.” Holmes needs to catch the football, would is easy for him to do when he has a quarterback (*jury’s still out on whether or not he does).

Tim Tebow’s Arm – He can run, he can pray, and he might even be able to fly. But, for a quarterback with a heart of gold, Tim Tebow’s arm is almost more offensive than his stance on a woman’s right to choose. You need to be able to throw, and Tim hasn’t proven he can yet.

Fantasy Sleeps – Neither of their top two running backs will garner early round attention, because nobody knows who number one is. But, when the dust settles and either Shonn Greene or Joe McKnight are given the game ball, ruin your waiver standing, run to your laptop, and grab one.

What can New York look forward to? – You know how they pulled out of Hard Knocks to avoid even more media scrutiny than they were sure to already get? Yea, it ain’t getting better. But, Jeremy Lin comes to town on December 17.

Prediction?

They’ll favour well in the AFC East, but their lack of depth at receiver (Santonio and then a whole lot of nobody) may be their horcrux going forward. The Jets have this terrible tendency of dropping games they should win, even after they’ve beaten better team to put themselves in playoff position. They also have this nasty habit or over-performing when they’re supposed to fail and under-performing when they’re supposed to succeed.

So, really, we have no idea…