On a Slow News Day, Tyler Seguin’s Open Invitation to Speed Dating Was the Best Thing Out There

(Photo: Lowell Spinners)

Today was one of those days where news created news for the sake of news. And, by for the sake of news, we mean page views, profits, and pandemonium. It’s all fine and well, as long as your readers understand the terms of the hostage situation you’ve locked them in.

The Huffington Post posted something about how Stephen Harper had called Calgary the best city in Canada, and how he was receiving public flack from the 75% of the national population who lacked understanding of a central lobe. Their title was, “Is it deserved?” on their Facebook page. Really, HuffPo? Was that deserved? We realize you’re desperate to hate the man because he’s a conservative politician and your goal is to pretend that AOL doesn’t make money, but that seems like a stretch.

Meanwhile, everyone else deciphered last night’s MLB All-Star Game, and ESPN aired the ESPYs, which is like their own tribute to themselves. Imagine the Oscars had their own channel, and that they had founded the awards show after founding the station.

But then, in a surprise twist, it was actually Sportsnet with the day’s only truly viably interesting news break: Tyler Seguin will be speed dating, and he’s accepting applications.

The fella with the cropped haircut and a knack for large bottles of vodka (all in due tolerance) will be hitting an old woman’s last resort in Loewell Mass. on August 15, and Sportsnet.ca’s Luke Fox was all over it. If you don’t know Lowell, it’s where Christian Bale did crack in The Fighter.

(*NOTE: We’re not being sarcastic. This is awesome.)

Read the full meal deal here:

“‘Speed dating with Tyler Seguin’ at ball game,” by Luke Fox (Sportsnet.ca)