Hey, Toronto: Steve Nash Just Isn’t That Into You

What is it with the T Dot and this crazy mirage they’ve cooked up that they believe everyone would love to play, live, and love in their fair city?

Today, Sportsnet’s Michael Grange posted an article called, “What is he waiting for?” It also included maybe the most presumptive subheading of all-time, “The market appears to be shrinking for the services of Steve Nash, so why has he ignored the Toronto Raptors’ generous offer on July 1?”

Yea, you’re right, Michael Grange… what’s wrong with him? Could there really be another team in the league that Steve Nash wants to play for? I mean, who isn’t in love with Toronto? How could you not be?

But, really, shouldn’t the Raptors be 30th in line for Steve Nash? Shouldn’t they be his last pick? What do they have to offer him besides a history of losing and the most irrelevant franchise in the National Basketball Association.

Honestly, the Raptors make the Golden State Warriors look like Castro during the Cuban Middle Crisis. Toronto is so unimportant to the NBA – and so far from contending for a title – that while Raptors fans and corporate honchos on Bay Street think Steve could never (not in a million years!) want to play anywhere else, the rest of Canada and North America is looking at them thinking that Nash must be crazy to even considering going to Canada’s financial capital.

Toronto’s a fantastic city, and any athletes looking to make a move based on lifestyle and culture should have our country’s only metropolis right up there with New York, Chicago, L.A., and Boston.

At the same time, this Raptors team scores less than Tim Tebow at Crazy Girls. Bet on the Raptors if you want to lose your money.

And yet, the city’s delusion has only increased.

One day after Wayne Gretzky convinced Justin Schultz to become an Edmonton Oiler, he sent Steve Nash a taped plea urging him to come to Toronto. In case you didn’t know, Gretzky does these kinds of things for, like, six different cities. Toronto is so in love with itself during this Steve Nash sweepstakes, they really think that Gretzky is the right man to convince a 38-year-old future Hall of Famer from another sport of where he should finish his career.

Word is, he’s also telling Michael Jordan to come out of retirement and he’s trying to get Joe Montana to build an NFL team in Brantford.

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Listen, Steve, if you want to got to Toronto, that’s fine. It is in Canada, and Rogers and Bell have been dripping wet over this ever since you won the NBA MVP in 2005 and they were forced to cover basketball.

But, if you do go to Toronto, and if you do choose the Raptors over the Lakers, the Knicks, the Mavericks, or even the Portland Trail Blazers (who are actually the closest thing to your hometown team), don’t expect any of us to feel sorry for you when you finish your career in Toronto without a ring.