“England” Tops White Cover’s List of 2012′s Top 10 Hypocrites

*The following is a list of those who have demonstrated naive inconsistency, unintentional foolishness, and just an all-around shortsighted memory.

(NOTE: This list is limited to subject who we have covered more than once, and routinely. Politicians are out, so calm down Romney haters.)

10. Us

Yes, we have to admit it. We put our foot in our mouth more often than not. It’s what comes with being an unbiased (and biased) website, and trying to be both at the same time. (Yes, that last sentence was hypocritical in itself.) It just comes with the territory.

9. Dustin Brown

Make no mistakes. The guy they call Browny is a fantastic hockey player. Hard-nosed, vicious, and he can score. He’s a captain and a leader who is devoted to his team, and those don’t always go hand-in-hand.

But, while Brown was delivering punishing legal hits and leading his team to victory, he set a tone of respect for his team, with his words and his play. A benchmark, if you will. Brown preached respect and a strong, silent type deal against Vancouver.

That benchmark was often betrayed – or, at least, conveniently disobeyed – by the rule-maker himself, with a head snap on a high stick that never occurred (even as Ryan Kesler and the Canucks took the fall for diving) and then a knee-on-knee collision that effectively ended the Kings’ series with Phoenix.

Were the Coyotes going to win that series? No. But, Brown’s code of respect was burned to the ground, courtesy of his own arson and fraud.

8. The CBC

It actually is a shame that the Canadian government has cut a fat chunk of the CBC’s budget. That really is too bad. We’re not being sarcastic there.

But, like, can the CBC really claim to be a coal miner’s daughter?

Sure, CTV and Rogers and Shaw are hogging a lot of money, but they’re also hogging a lot of viewers, and it’s not necessarily their fault that they have better programming or more money, is it? After all, the CBC had a federally imposed monopoly over the country’s airwaves for a long time, and it’s safe to say there a few people who felt like it was unfair that they couldn’t compete with an Ottawa-based media cartel.

(How else do they own some of the best properties in every major city in Canada?)

We’re not taking sides, but this is kind of like the wolf crying wolf, isn’t it?

7. Ron Maclean

How much longer can Maclean ride Cherry’s coattails and give us all the, “I dunno what’s wrong with him” face before we all realize that he’s even crazier?

6. Aaron Sorkin

Opinion is bad, except when your opinion is right. I’m Aaron Sorkin.

5. Joel Quenneville

Coach Quenneville really doesn’t like it when his players get hurt. When Raffi Torres wasn’t suspended for his (largely) clean hit on Brent Seabrook in the 2011 playoffs? It was a joke, he said. When Torres hit Marian Hossa late in the Blackhawks second consecutive first-round loss this year? God, throw the book at him. He doesn’t like bad calls, but he’ll tell you he’s mature. Just like Jonathan Toews will, and Duncan Keith will, too. Patrick Kane may be the only honest one on that roster, actually, but he’s the guy everyone else points their fingers at.

It would be marvelous then to know what Joel Quenneville thought of this. Or, of this. Yes, between them, Dan Carcillo and Duncan Keith accounted for the two single dirtiest plays in the NHL from this past calendar year, and both were wearing Chicago sweaters. You won’t hear that from Quenneville, though.

Seems like a dirty cop is coaching the Chicago Blackhawks.

4. Skip Bayless

Spend five minutes researching his name on Google – along with keywords: “Tim Tebow,” “Jeremy Lin,” and “LeBron James” – and you’ll know why he’s here.

3. Tim Thomas

It’s nobody’s business what Tim Thomas thinks or says, and it’s all his choice and you should respect him for his views and his ideals and he doesn’t want anyone to ask him any questions and he just wants privacy and respect and you’re all a bunch of vultures for asking him anything about how he feels about Obama or “the Catholics” or freedom, and you should all be ashamed for trying to take away his freedom and his respect and his privacy and Tim Thomas is going to post this all on Facebook.

2. The Boston Celtics

Oh, Boston. We know you’re upset that Miami beat you, and we know you don’t like how they took LeBron James and Chris Bosh and added them to Dwayne Wade to make the best head-to-toe lineup in the NBA. We know you’re upset.

But, please, stop complaining about it. After all, you started this whole thing.

1. England

Does anyone else realize the irony that the sharpest-tongued, wittiest, meanest, snarky-est, most sarcastic, most bitter, most clever and well-spoken country in the world is upset that Mitt Romney slighted their Olympic preparation a couple days ago?

The English are dicks. That’s not meant to be insulting; they pride themselves on it. They seemed to be very upset that someone would rib their Olympic experience, and at least they have the vocabulary to fire back.

But, like, really? Who are you to talk?

The English are known for their self-deprecating humo(u)r, but lately they’ve only resembled that guy who always tells you it’s only cool when he makes fun of his brother and nobody else can.