Why are MLB Hats the Best?

There’s something special about hats. Only men understand it, because when women think of hats, they think fedoras and $8 discount bins and, “What would I wear this with?”

When men see hats – when men see MLBs – they don’t see colour combinations and they could care less about fashion. I mean, yeah, they hope it looks good n’ all, but they don’t wear it for women. They wear it for themselves, and everyone else who might notice.

When they see a Cardinals hat, they don’t see a red beanie, they see Ozzie Gibson and Albert Pujols and maybe even Jaime Garcia. When they see Freddy Garcia not showering in his 7 1/4, they think, “Man, what a collectible.”

Women don’t see that. They see an accessory.

When they see the Orioles’ new retro caps or the Blue Jays re-vibed 90′s look, they see Cal Ripken stealing bags and Joe Carter stomping around the bases in ’93.

We, men – as a species – are sick for ball caps. Sure, there are times where we think, “A chick might find this cool” or “Yea, I look good in this… I could get women.”

Those are called bad hair days. It’s not, “I’ll wear this because I want to impress.” It’s, “I’ll wear this because my hair is shit.”

Women don’t go bald. Well, that’s not true. But, they don’t go bald like men do. And, once you cross into that stratosphere, it only gets worse. So, you may as well load up on MLBs.

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The beautiful thing about MLBs are the colours and the logos. You can represent cities, regions, or countries. Each cap is adorned with its own MLB logo on the back, and each has its own colour palette, its own little wheel made special just for it.

Baseball is baseball, and the at means more to the game than the bats, or even the lights that look down on the stadium.

Screw Crackerjacks, and screw women (not really). Go and grab yourself an MLB, and then you’ll see what it’s all about.