The Vancouver Canucks Should Sign Ryan Smyth. Right Now.

So, Vancouver. July 1 comes along and Ryan Smyth is available. He’s old. He’s at the end. He’s been moved out of Edmonton, Long Island, Colorado, Los Angeles, and then Edmonton again. He’s going to be cheap because he’s not as wanted as he once was.

Hell, sign him up.

Stick a latrine in his waist belt, give him a working helmet, pair of boots, and a pack of smokes, and enlist him on the front lines. Ryan Smyth will go to war for you, and now that he’s not overvalued as  first or second line scorer (like he used to be), his contract will be about as spot-on, financially, as any other time in his career.

No, this guy will not break the scoreboard, but he won’t break your bank, either.

When he was at his “prime” (if he’s ever had one) Ryan Smyth was selling jersey in Edmonton, presumably doing a lot of community sh*t, winning a gold medal with Team Canada, and then playing a central role in the Oilers’ 2006 Stanley Cup march.

Yes, Hemsky scored the goals. Roloson made the saves. Pronger played the defence. But, Smyth was there. He’s at the front of the net. He’s in the corners. He’s everywhere he’s supposed to be.

Ryan Smyth is a warrior, and he’ll give his life, love, and blood to you for the one thing he’s never had but the one thing he wants – just like Vancouverites – a Stanley Cup.

That’s right, Canuckleheads. Ryan Smyth is in the exact same position after 36 years of his life that you are after 42 years of your own. He wants the same thing. You’re in the same position.

When you sign Ryan Smyth, you’re not signing an older player, or a castaway. You’re signing certainty. You’re signing a guy who had 46 points in a full 82 games last year. That means, 1) he can play a full year at 36; and 2) he can score more points than two thirds of the Canucks roster.

You really don’t think Ryan Smyth is worth it? Alex Burrows had 52 points last year. Six more. Ryan Kesler had 49 points last year. Three more. And, with Kesler almost certainly out for the first month of the 2012/13 season, you’re going to need somebody tough, vile, and vicious to fill that role.

Smyth was a stud with the rookies last year. RNH, Jordan Eberle, and Taylor Hall flourished with him, like a luscious lock of Eva Mendes’s hair. What’s to say he can’t help David Booth, or even potential Canucks like Jordan Schroeder, Nicklas Jensen, or Zack Kassian?

Listen, if you’re only scoffing at the idea of signing Smyth because you think it would be embarrassing, or because you’re worried about what others might think… well, that’s how you screw things up.

If that’s true, Dustin Penner wouldn’t have won his second Cup last year.

Hey, that’s another Oiler!

Come on, Vancouver. Sign Ryan Smyth.