ESPN’s First Take Loves LeBron James

First Take loves LeBron James, okay. Sure, they get us wet with Tebow, but they pinch it and smoke a cigarette with LeBron.

Go to their home page. It’s a manic depressive love-all/hate-on of the man who once took his talents to (I can’t finish it, I hate that line) and is now three wins away from his first NBA title with (perhaps) the league’s most polarizing roster of all-time.

The folks at First Take are no different. All five videos on their main belt are devoted to him, and some would say donated to him.

1) “Silence Please,” which a very ironic title for this show.
2) “Wade To Blame?” which isn’t really about Wade, is it?
3) “Lack of Attack.” Did LeBron James pass or fail in the Heat’s Game 1 loss to the Thunder?
4) “Feeling Drained.” What is going through LeBron’s head as the NBA Finals begin? Will he be able to dominate Kevin Durant and the Thunder? Somehow, I feel like that question was set-up to be shot down.
5) “Who Would You Choose?” Durant or James?

Jesus. Enough, already. And, we know how it’s going to go, because we know how all First Take episodes go.

Skip: “What did I tell you the last time we were on this show? …”
Stephen A: “This is hard for me because I know the man, both professionally and personally…”
Skip: “I didn’t say that! I didn’t say that! …”
Stephen A: “This is very near and dear to my heart…”
Skip: “Tebow…”
Stephen A: “The boy can play, oKAY?! …”
Skip: (Points finger downward and taps it on desk while speaking…)
Stephen A: “… and what do I see?! …”
Skip: “How long have you and I been convering this game?”
Stephen A: “Long time… long time…”