NHL Playoff Preview: (1) Vancouver Canucks v. (8) Los Angeles Kings

*What better way to decide a series than by a sequence of unrelated questions? (NOTE: Nobody at White Cover has ever seen Twilight.)

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Are the Canucks really a No. 1?

Yes, but they would rather face the Sharks.

Are the Kings really a No. 8?

No. Then again, yes.

Who had a better riot, Vancouver or L.A.?

L.A. Race riots always trump festive riots. 

Which columnist should you avoid reading during this matchup?

Damien Cox. His anti-Vancouver poison is pretty pungent. Although, you could make the case that he should be avoided for any series. It wouldn’t be surprising if Damien Cox wished no team was allowed to win the Stanley Cup.

Who should you cheer for if you’re on Team Edward?

Vancouver. Pacific Northwest. Pale skin. Rains a lot, and stuff. Perennial favourite. Bella is the Stanley Cup.

Who should you cheer for if you’re on Team Jacob?

Los Angeles. Runs on momentum. Jacked, but little flexibility. One-dimensional. Has fangs and claws, and stuff, but can’t live forever. More into the Hollywood Scene than actually being a good actor.

What nickname will stick from this series?

Drew Doughty, “Fatboy”.

Who are the best players in this series?

1) Anze Kopitar, Los Angeles.
2) Henrik Sedin, Vancouver.
3) Jonathan Quick, Los Angeles.

Who is the player to watch in this series?

Alex Burrows, Vancouver.

Who’s the goat, right now?

Roberto Luongo, Vancouver.

Who’s the hero, right now?

Jonathan Quick, Los Angeles.

Who’s the goat, at the end?

Jonathan Quick, Los Angeles.

Who’s the hero, at the end?

Roberto Luongo, Vancouver.

Who will receive the most love from Biz Nasty 2.0 during this series?

Henrik Sedin. Last year, he said he should have his hands sponsored by Purell. The bromance continues.

If this series were a character from Snatch, who would it be?

Tommy. People question whether either team can use a gun, but in the end they save themselves by pretending to have it loaded and leaving the bank unharmed.

Which team has the best swag?

Los Angeles. Those black and silver duds are legit.

Which team has the best swagger?

Vancouver. Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk I’m a woman’s man… No time to talk…

Who will Canucks fans know a lot better by the time this thing is over?

Matt Greene.

Who will Kings fans know a lot better by the time this thing is over?

David Booth.

Prediction?

Vancouver in six games. The Canucks will win this, and if it goes to seven, then they have a problem. Six seems right.