Today’s Thoughts From the Couch

1. The Minnesota Vikings lost 31-28 in OT to the New Orleans Saints today, after having possession of the ball for over 40 minutes in a 60 minute game and giving up five turnovers.
If that’s not a head scratcher, I don’t know what is.

2. Vikes’ coach Brad Childress looks an eerily lot like ESPN analyst Tony Kornheiser and FOX TV’s House. Although nothing beats Dobby the House Elf and Vladimir Putin or Jaws and Alex Ovechkin, this isn’t bad.
A Russian newspaper even once reported that national authorities were planning a legal case against the Harry Potter movie clan, because they said he looked too much like the ol’ Vladdy bear. Even though no such copyright law exists to make that a case, I think that makes those two the winners.
I would also nominate myself and Tom Selleck.

3. Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian will have terrific sex tonight.

4. Am I the only who realizes the link between Hurrican Katrina and Drew “Brees”? And am I the only one who thinks that’s a brilliant idea for an energy drink platform?

5. Also, am I the only one who thinks Emily Blunt is rediculously good looking? That’s rhetorical, because even if rhetorical isn’t the right words to use in this case, someone thinks she must be to keep putting her in movies. All I know I used to wonder why she was on TV, and now I think I may see The Wolfman just for her.
Banging.

6. Speaking of men and women and wolves, somebody should make a column somewhere about how JFK may be just the Greatest “Pimp” of all time – not in the prostitute-owning way, but in the way that club owners say “pimp”.
How could a man who was married get away with such a title, I wonder, when Tiger Woods is on the cross. NOTE: I am not saying Tiger deserves a second shot. You make your bed and you have to sleep in it, even if your wife no longer is in it.
Still, JFK was the first Irish-American President – which is an extremely important and often understated fact in the annals of American history. He dated Marilyn Monroe, which most people would state as the sexiest woman in history. He also had a wife in Jackie Kennedy, who some women consider one of the greatest public personas of the 20th Century, and his children grew up to be prodigies, themselves. His father was a bootlegger and John Francis used the money to become the President of the United States and a war hero during World War II.
Not many can lay claim to that track record. In fact, I say none.

7. Quentin Tarantino is the most influential filmmaker of the 21st Century – mostly for films made in the 1990′s.

8. I went to Nando’s and I was reminded of my month-long trip to Portugal not too long ago. It is one the world’s greatest countries, and the place I grew up – even though I was never raised there.
I urge you next time to skip Paris and make some time for Lisbon, Porto, Obidos, Braga, Lagos, Barcelos, and Cascais.

9. I saw the Lovely Bones earlier this week. There should be an award for movies that successfully make the transition from paperback – even when the translation of the product is virtually impossible. It was a good film, buoyed by its director and performances. Sometimes, however, perfection is failed by fate. It’s almost impossible to make a perfectly appropriate film of the Lovely Bones, as it requires a perfect mix of a real-life rape and murder story and a lucid dream of a young girl in her own Heaven.
Past winners include The Da Vinci Code. Despite Dan Brown’s tremendous literary work and the efforts of Tom Hanks, Jean Reno, Paul Bettany, director Ron Howard, and the adorable French woman who played the second lead, the film couldn’t wow “readers” in the same way with novel could. The historical story line didn’t make the shift, perhaps because films such as National Treasure seemed to erode the impact of that genre.

10. Best quote about Brett Favre I’ve ever heard:

Cab driver in Milwaukee, the day after Brett Favre announced he wouldn’t join the Vikings and the day before he announced he would join the Vikings.
“Sir, what are your thoughts on Brett Favre?”
“Fooquim!”
“What?”
“Fuck him!”
After 10 minutes of listening to this man rant about how much he hated Brett Favre for retiring and un-retiring twice, switching to the New York Jets, and then “considering” to join the arch-rival Minnesota Vikings, he ended his speech with this:
“I love Brett Favre, man.”

Seems as though there will always be a place for Mr. Wrangler.